I stood at the top, wishing. Wishing that I was graduating. i don't even know what happened, I don't know where those credits went missing, I don't know how I could have created such a predicament for myself. I should have walked last week, I should have been cheered for, I should have been taking pictures in a cap and gown. But instead, I sobbed as i watched those who came in with me, leave without me. Each of them, able to move on with their lives, excited to face the real world, and me? Employed by marketing because I am still a student and can work.
I know it sounds very bitter, but I'm not. It was hard to watch the glory unfold which I should have celebrated in with my fellow friends, but I know that my day will come and I will succeed.
The hot rays of the scorching sun will bathe me as I open my arms wide and face the heavens. I will succeed and I will walk that platform. I will hear my name and the cheers from the crowds. I will be who I want to be.
I need to push on. I need to finish. I need to learn to cope with what happened and move on. The balancing act is hard because right now one arm is heavier with grief while the other is empty with hopelessness. But wait...there is a glimmer, there is some weight to it, and I will get through this, not now, not for a few months, but I will be there soon.
As for the rest of my life, it's kinda boring right now, but I'm sure things will pick up soon enough. I'm blogging at work, I mean, it's pretty chill. I've gotten stuff done, and I'm totally way ahead of schedule, so I keep telling myself these things to justify my creating a new blog.
